Nico talks to Melody Rachel on the 'You Know I' Podcast

I was recently interviewed by Melody Rachel for her ‘You Know I’ Podcast.

She gave me space to talk about my experience coming out as gay in a Christian environment and where I am with my faith now. I appreciate the platform and hope it’s helpful for at least one person to hear.

You can listen here on on YouTube or Spotify 🌈✝️🤪

SIDE/EXTRA NOTES:

• The conversation was primarily about my past; my story of coming out. At the end we discuss a little bit about where I am now with my personal spiritual beliefs. There are a lot of details in my story I purposely leave out. There were people in my life who were largely responsible for making journey of coming out and self-acceptance extremely difficult. I do not expose these people in my story. I won't blast anyone in a public space without giving them a chance to speak for or defend themselves. That's a choice I make because of who I am; not necessarily a privilege those people deserve. I would ask that no one make assumptions about who these people are in my story.

• I don't often get an opportunity to speak on other platforms about my personal beliefs. I stand by what I say in this podcast, but with a bit of an asterisk. If I could rephrase some of the thoughts I laid out, I would do so a little more firmly. I have a habit of being overly nuanced at the expense of stating what I actually think/feel/believe. There is some nuance in almost everything - but that shouldn't shield what's objectively true. In my formative years, I was coerced, encouraged, and pressured by every authoritative adult figure in my life into walking down a path for my life that was unsustainable. That may have not been their intention. But it was the result of being given only one acceptable option in life - be a heterosexual. Had this not been the case, I think my life would look a lot different today, both personally and economically. It's impossible to say what 'would have happened' in any scenario where you change the past. But it seems very unlikely my life would feel like as much of a failure as it does right now had I been allowed to explore my sexual identity freely like every straight person is able to in their youth.

• LGBTQ Kids deserve better than I got going forward. There's been a movement in evangelical and right-wing political circles to try and frame the LGBTQ community as "groomers". In reality, the church, education system, entertainment industry, and all of society at large have been grooming every single person to be cis gendered and straight for virtually all of history. If thousands of straight kids were coerced and pressured into gay sexual relationships and marriages as they grew up, I think we as a society would finally begin to recognize the phycological trauma of going through that; how fucked up and consequential it is. We need responsible adults in positions of authority (schools, churches, parents, etc) that will let kids be themselves without coercion and pressure to be something they're not; no bullshit agenda one way or the other. All we should be encouraging kids to be is the best version of themselves - whatever they happen to be. I promise you that religious institutions are the number 1 thing standing in the way of this being our reality.

• If you think I sound like a crazy person talking to an imaginary sky daddy, that's you're right. I try not to make a habit of mocking other people's beliefs when they don't align with mine - so I'd ask that you give me the same respect. I acknowledge that my Christian beliefs probably have a ton to do with where I was born and how I was raised. I am likely to assign any spiritual or supernatural experience in my life to what I already believe is true. I am aware of this. I am ever-evolving in what I believe about spirituality, the universe, humankind, etc. I don't think I'll ever know it all. This is just my experience and my opinion as it stood at the time of recording.